“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,”she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.”

-Tina Fey

Baby Included’s mission is to inspire new parents to travel with their babies and young children by giving them the confidence through honest information and access to appropriate and trustworthy accommodation, equipment and babysitters. Our goal is for it to be as easy to travel with your baby as it was before. Even doing business trips with young children is made a pleasure.

Good luck with the new venture Claire! You can check out the company at www.babyincl.com or contact Claire at:  email: claire@babyincl.com

“We recently visited your very nice website and are writing to ask if you would consider forwarding an offer from us to your members.
We, Nadege and Anthony, at Host in France, are organising stays with British families for French guests who wish to improve their command of the English language.We have recently received wide media coverage ( http://www.host-in-france.com/reportages.html ) and are currently in need of more British host families in France. Our hosts charge 350 Euros per week per French guest. Teachers of English add 15 –20 Euros an hour for lessons. It can be a very rewarding experience for all concerned and also provide the host families with extra income.”

contact@host-in-france.com
http://www.host-in-france.com

 We are a mommy-blog collaboration of the brilliant & funny Gwen Bueno de Mesquita, Erica Nahmad, Brooke O’Farrell and myself. We feature weekly wild cards and guest writers, such as Salt & Nectar’s The Other Sarah and my own hubby Alan Stuart. We write on the daily sh*t that makes parenthood worth it. Our motto is Grin & Share It. SO SHARE IT!

http://poopsiecollective.com/post/9868511386/the-pencil-test

It’s a time-travel book set in Aix-en-Provence in…well, it starts in 1902 but our hero gets a bit lost, as you do, and finds himself in all sorts of odd places.

It’s not a ‘deep’ book – more of an Enid-Blyton-meets-Doctor-Who adventure, aimed at children going on holiday to Aix-en-Provence with their parents, so they’ll have something fun and informative to read. A sort of travel guide in disguise, if you like. Children will have fun searching for all the places mentioned in the book (I managed to get all the main monuments in!)

Here’s the blurb I wrote for the back cover:

Sometimes, twelve year-old Charlie Travers wishes he’d never been born a Time traveller. He never goes anywhere exciting, his mum makes him eat horrible food she brings back from the Middle Ages – and he’s still rubbish at history.

Then Charlie receives a mysterious plea for help from the past and when his parents take him back to Aix-en-Provence in 1902, he’s rather hoping he’ll find out who sent it. He has no idea he is about to embark on a breath-taking journey through Time, where kidnappers, dinosaurs and a stolen painting will be the least of his worries…

It’s available on Amazon UK and Amazon.com…here are the links:

http://www.amazon.com/Charlie-Travers-Traveller-Operation-C%C3%A9zanne/dp/1907719156/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1307446132&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Charlie-Travers-Traveller-Operation-Cezanne/dp/1907719156

I used to live in Aix (I lived there for 15 years!) and my three girls were born there. I dearly wish I could live there again – I live in Grenoble now…but the mountains still freak me out a little!

Thank you…

Gill Baconnier

Now here is a great start up idea that could only have been thought up by a fellow multi-cultural mum. ‘Mondokiddo’ is a safe, fun cultural website for children between 8-11.  The objective of the site is to give incentives to children to learn French/English via online cultural games and exchanges with e-pals in France/England.

And, as a launching offer, they are offering any parent, or school the opportunity to register now and get automatically a year free of subscription, starting September 1st.

Check it out at www.mondokiddo.co.uk

Pacamomes is a website (and a magazine) that gives you loads of ideas and practical information for children’s activities in the PACA area. The site is well laid out with good search capabilities and easy to find exactly the kid of activity you are looking for, whether it be an amusement park, a language course, or a holiday place.

http://www.pacamomes.com/

Learning english should be fun and active, encouraging one’s confidence in a foreign language. Parlez vous Anglais offers workshops for all ages and all levels of english speakers, for beginners or advanced. Start young for children learning english, for exam preparation or professional purposes.

The workshops are designed for groups of 5 minimun, and are performed at the domicile of one of the members.. We come to you.
So take a look at our site http://www.parlez-vous-anglais.fr
Lights, camera’s..Action!!

I love their democratic and loving approach; their methods for finding and treating the reason for disciplinary issues. We all mean well while raising our children, and most of us have a philosophy, but it’s the tools that we are missing to use on a day to day basis. And this guide gives them to you. I have always found it hard to find a middle ground between authoritarian and permissive parenting. But this guide shows you , that the goal is not to find that middle ground, but a different method altogether – a method of a democratic approach where children have their own rights, responsabilities and voice.

http://amyfox.childbrain.hop.clickbank.net

If you do end up getting this guide, please do come back and tell us what you think.